faq
Posted by in UncategorizedThe most frequently-asked question I get as a writer is this one: How do you find time for writing with small children at home?
I’ve actually answered it on the blog before, a long time ago, but I think it vanished from the archives when we redid the site, so I’m happy to do it again.
(I actually, hilariously, had someone with a 9-5 job say once, “I wish I were a stay at home mom like you. I would have so much more time to write.” Which is not to say that I think it’s harder to write as a stay-at-home mom; I’m just saying it’s still like having a job if you’re doing it right, which I try very hard to do.)
The short answer is this: I am really disciplined about it. That doesn’t mean I sit down and write for hours, but I make time to write every day. Notice that I used the word “make.” I don’t have a sitter or a big block of time that just waits for me to write. I have to take it from something else. I usually take it from sleeping or housework. I don’t run as much as I once did. I don’t go out with friends very often. It also helps to have a husband who works every evening. So when the kids are in bed, it’s not like I am missing out on time with him if I work.
Does this stink sometimes? Yes. Because I know lots of people who watch actual television shows, or go to movies. Or, you know, make photo albums for their kids. (My poor kids.) Or have down time and relax in the evenings. Read books. Make treats for their neighbors during the holidays. (My poor neighbors.)
I think my secret, if I have one, is that I’ve been disciplined long enough (I’ve been writing daily since 2002) that this is now a habit.
But. That doesn’t mean that it’s magic. Like today. I wrote a little bit during naptime and it was all kind of bad, now that I’m reading it. I’ll probably delete it. And my husband is taking the night off from grading. And I’m thinking that wrapping the kids’ presents and having hot chocolate together sounds like much more fun than writing. Don’t you?
Feel free to leave any other questions in the comment area, as always. I am having a hard time thinking of things to blog about lately. As you can probably tell!
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I love that you emphasized “making” time. So many people think we just magically have time to write. “I’d write if I had teh time.” There are many things I’d like to do. I’d like to play the guitar. I’d like to mountain bike. I’d like to run another marathon. And all of those are doable if I “make” the time. Writing is just the same. It’s giving up one thing for another. Great post!
Yes! We have to *make* time. I write during naptime, or when my husband is home and can entertain the kids, or during the not-often-enough times my parents come visit. I am not great at writing at night because I am exhausted, but sometimes I succeed. I think stay-at-home parents who write need to be dedicated and give in a little to the clutter. At least until just before guests arrive.
Awesome post, Ally! I guess I’d better quit reading blogs and go make some time to write.
Notice that I used the word “make.” I don’t have a sitter or a big block of time that just waits for me to write. I have to take it from something else.
Thank you. This is what I am trying to learn, to repeatedly remind myself. Too often I tell myself, “But I’m too busy this week — too many exams and papers, I don’t have time to write!” But it isn’t about ‘having,’ it’s about ‘making,’ and I am trying hard to make it a habit of writing everyday, even if it’s just a handful of sentences.
Wonderful post!
Thanks, you guys! I’m glad this post didn’t bore you to tears. And it’s nice to know how many other people are out there making time too.
I just wanted to say that you have given us all hope that we too can be pubilshed and that if you have already answered these questions before I’m sorry to asked again. As a fledgling writer I have to ask. How many rejections did you have ? Did you ever get to a point when you said “okay maybe I not that good a writer or this book is not has good as I think” . How did you know your work would get pubilshed one day?
totally. you’ve got it, sista. one of my biggest pet peeves is “i just don’t have time.” um, really? i’m pretty sure that we all have 24 hours in a day. what we choose to do with them is mainly up to us (to an extent, when you factor in larger choices, like to have many small children). i’m really glad you make time to write things, because i quite like to read them.
Herein lies my problem. I am not someone who is good at doing things daily…anything really, other than sleeping and eating…oh and my internet obsession. Sigh. I need to MAKE more time for me and to do the productive things that I love.
Wendy, no worries! I’m glad you asked again! And thanks for the questions. That can be my next blog post…I appreciate it!
I think it’s fabulous you write daily. Do you edit/evaluate how strong the writing is as you go, or do you just write it and then edit or evaluate what to keep later on when you have a large section written?
Thanks for the inspiration!
It is so true – it is definitely about “making” time, not “having” it. (as so many others have already agreed with you on) I know we’ve talked about this before, and I’m glad you posted about it. I, for one, am very glad you decide to keep “making” time for all that great writing of yours!! Can’t wait for what’s to come!
Its so hard to write with kids! I have 2. Good for you!
Are we the same person??? I had this conversation with some friends the other day and lamented that I haven’t seen hardly any shows for years. Maybe “American Idol” 2x, and “Lost” one time. Scrapbooking is a historical reference word in my house. Writing takes a ton of motivation and determination, with or without kids. It’s work! I compare it to going back to college. You lose a lot of sleep.