Happy almost-February! I really like this month. I do. There are fun family birthdays, and treats, and it’s short and spring is coming.

This is one of those newsy-type posts…

First of all, MATCHED was named to YALSA’s list of 2012 Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults. You can see the full list here. I love YALSA!!! Remember when MATCHED made the 2011 Teens’ Top Ten List and my life was made?

Second, I want to thank all of you for your support of both MATCHED and CROSSED. MATCHED has been on the New York Times bestseller list for paperback for 18 weeks running now, ever since its release, I believe. And CROSSED spent 7 weeks on the hardcover list, among many Lego books and also Brian Selznick. This significantly increased my nine-year-old’s opinion of me.

Third, I have updated the Events page. Due to some family circumstances (no, I am not pregnant), I am really limiting events this spring, and so I just have one scheduled–a visit at the Holladay Library, which has been in the works for months. I would love to see you there!

Finally, I have some giveaways and author interviews scheduled for February. It should be a most excellent month. Come back soon! And I think I need to make these cookies.

We took our kids to Disneyland for the first time over the long weekend. My husband and I both had work off and so we decided to go for it–the kids have been wanting to go for a LONG time and they are perfect ages (everyone able to walk by themselves, use the potty, etc.). So off we went.

I spent the first day walking around in bliss. No jacket! Churros scenting the air! My three little people grinning and beaming and joyful about everything! My husband, as always, infinitely patient and hilarious and gentle and smiling.

It was a very good day, so much so that we stayed when night came on.

My middle boy, to our surprise, proved to be completely unafraid of any and all rides. He went on Indiana Jones, the roller coasters, and Splash Mountain without any fear. In fact, when we asked him what he’d like to do again, he wanted Splash Mountain. “You should take him,” my husband said. (For the initial experience, I had been confined to the Winnie-the-Pooh ride with our littlest guy.)

I have always loved roller coasters and scary rides, and in previous Disneyland trips (as a kid, as a newly-minted high school graduate, as a young teacher chaperoning students), I always headed to those places first. So I climbed aboard with my two older boys without any feeling of apprehension.

And then we came up to the drop.

My middle boy took my arm and pulled it around him, tight, and put his arm over mine. And in that moment of rare physical closeness, the two of us tucked together, I felt his heart fluttering, and we began to fall.

He made no sound. Neither did I. Everything was very, very black. And– though I had been on the ride before– in some deep, primeval way that had more to do with the dark than the drop, I was afraid.

The picture in the display afterward did not show us. The man in front raised his arms and he was a big guy, and so my son and I did not appear in the picture at all, just one pink sleeve of my hoodie showing up in the corner.

For a moment, it was haunting, the nearly complete obliteration of the two of us. But I knew that moment would be forever imprinted in my mind. When it was dark, and the two of us were falling together, and we both held on.

“With literature, as with the arts, as with faith—and life—there is really no good stopping place.”
–Dr. Richard H. Cracroft

I took the quotation above from an article published in my alumni magazine by a former professor of mine, Dr. Cracroft. As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, he taught the Wallace Stegner senior course, and that class shaped me as a person, a reader, and a writer.

I love this quote because I think I expect, or hope for, good stopping places. A nice photo finish to an event; a clear and natural tapering to something, an obvious denouement. But it’s not like that in life. It’s not even like that in books.

Even after we close a book, or finish writing a novel, the story goes on in our minds; we turn it over as we try to sleep; we move it forward as we wipe the counters, change the diapers. We leave it alone but come back to it and pick it up again.

I have crossed paths with Dr. Cracroft several times since I took that class. He lives close enough to me that sometimes I see him in our church building; I am always delighted, as I think we all are, when we see a teacher who truly changed our learning and our lives.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about letting my teaching license expire. I’ve kept it up for eleven years and right now there are many demands on my time (and keeping up a license requires taking classes, tests, etc.). But it’s hard to let go. For years, I dreamed of becoming a Dr. Cracroft or a Marilyn Fotheringham (seventh grade reading) or a Jeana Rock, Louise Durham, Joyce Oldroyd, Jon Ostenson, or Karen Brown (teachers who mentored me when I was a beginner). Reading this article made me realize that perhaps there never really is a good stopping place for the things we love.

As always, Dr. Cracroft has given me a great deal of food for thought.

The article by Dr. Cracroft can be found in its entirety here at BYU Magazine.

P.S. I’ve responded to all the comments on the last post. Many thanks for sharing what you love right now!

Besides my husband and kids (of course!), here are some things I love right now:

*These cookies (above), which my dear friend Josie brought me all the way from London. I love them almost as much as I love Josie. Work is so much more fun with these Hob Nobs at my side. I have been addicted to these things ever since my days studying abroad in London when I was in college.

*The song “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye, which I have listened to all weekend long. My husband heard it on the radio, downloaded it onto my computer, and told me I would love it. He was right. He is a much better musician (guitar, singing, piano) than I am (no guitar, no singing, atrophied piano skills) but we do often enjoy the same things in a song: clever lyrics, beautiful voices, a melody that builds, and unexpected but still musical phrasing. I think we can consider it an official addition to the playlist for Book 3 (which I haven’t revealed in its entirety yet, but which also includes the song “Red” by Natalie Walker).

*The fact that my youngest little guy is now potty-trained (happy holidays to us!). For the first time in almost nine years, there are no diapers in my house. Which is a little sad, but mostly awesome for now.

*The world’s nicest babysitters, who for security reasons I shall not name here. But their names both begin with M and they are both amazing with my kids and they both are smiley and pretty and sweet and everything that is good about high school/college students today. See also: my cousins, who fall into all the same categories.

*Burt’s Bees shimmery lip gloss.

That is all for now. What do you love right this minute?

photo credit Brook Andreoli

I spoke about this little tin heart in a keynote address earlier this year. It’s from the story of the tin soldier and how, at the end of everything, this was all that was left of him. The tin soldier story is one of those Job-like tales where everything keeps going wrong, over and over again, and you think, “Things can’t go on like this!” but then they do.

2011 was a very wonderful year in many ways and a year that in other ways marked the beginning of difficult things that will likely not end soon.

One curse and one gift from this year is that I feel like my little tin heart is on fire all of the time. I have become more observant of all the little cruelties people perpetuate upon each other, but I have also become deeply aware of all the kind things that people do for one another. Earlier this month, I went to the mall with my youngest boy. I dread going to the mall during Christmastime–I’m not a big shopper any time of the year, and it’s so busy during the holidays. But it had to be done. And I found myself on the verge of tears several times over the course of those few hours, as I watched several acts of kindness where the person performing the act had no idea they were being observed. I might not have had the time to see them, had I not been moving at a three-year-old’s pace with my little guy. His eyes were wide with wonder and delight at everything, and I was fragile, in a good way for once, a walking assemblage of pieces shattered and put together again, broken and humbled and then made whole again by good people doing good things.

I can’t watch when people are being mean to each other. I get no joy in reading snarky blogs or mean reviews or in writing them myself–I don’t do any of those things. I’m not talking about honest, thoughtful criticism or parody etc., just meanness. Don’t get me wrong: I love well-done satire, my sense of humor tends toward the sarcastic, sometimes I come across as distant or blunt because I’m thinking about other things, those that haunt my mind and heart. Sometimes I am just plain grumpy. I make many, MANY mistakes and it is the ongoing goal of my life to be more patient and kind, and one I will probably never fully achieve. But I have to keep trying.

I believed before this year, and even more firmly believe now, that all that matters is whether or not you loved and were loved. That little heart, to me, represents what is left when everything else about you has been taken or burned away.

My wish for my little family, and for all of you, is an increased measure of love and kindness in 2012.

This Saturday, December 17th, at the wonderful Orem Public Library, I will be signing with a bunch of amazing authors (including Brandon Mull, Jessica Day George, Bree Despain, Nathan Hale, Kristen Chandler, Rick Walton, Robison Wells, Dan Wells, Tyler Whitesides, Jed Henry, and E.J. Patten) from 12:00 -2:00 p.m. That is a LOT of authors and, if you are in the Orem area, you could (and should!) come and get all of your holiday shopping finished right then and there. Because who wouldn’t love a signed book?

This is the last signing I have on the schedule for 2011, and I also don’t have any planned yet in the new year, so please come! I would love to sign your books.

Also, speaking of books…

…if you are related to me, you PROBABLY SHOULDN’T READ THE REST OF THIS POST BECAUSE I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

I give a lot of books at Christmastime. It can’t be helped. And the really wonderful thing about living where I do is that we have lots and lots of authors coming through and our local indie, The King’s English, does so many amazing signings. So, without further adieu, I present the list of Books I’m Giving This Christmas.

The brothers-in-law this year are receiving VARIANT by Robison Wells.

My nephew is getting JANITORS by Tyler Whitesides.

My nieces are going to get books by Jessica Day George. The oldest niece gets Jessica’s first book, the newest niece gets Jessica’s latest book. See how I did that?

In my little family, we have a tradition of opening a book and pajamas on Christmas Eve. This has been going on since my oldest boy was born. This year, he’s getting a lot of books, including REDWALL by Brian Jacques.

My middle guy loves books by Kevin Sherry, and I just discovered this one, and the cover alone is worth the price (it makes me laugh every time I look at it–ACORNS EVERYWHERE!).

And my youngest loves the second OTIS story (OTIS AND THE TORNADO), so we’re getting him the first one too.

(I still have to buy the books for my husband and myself.)

That’s it, for now. What books are you giving (and hoping to receive) this year?

The first fun thing is this video (and song) above, DESERT SYMPHONY, by Shaye Scott/The Piano Guys. My sister Elaine sent me this and said, “This makes me think of CROSSED” and then I watched the video and boy, does it ever. I cried about ten times while I was watching it. I think we have a new addition to the CROSSED playlist! And please, if you love this song, purchase it to support the artists.

Second, some have been asking if I have any signings scheduled. I’ve just added one on December 17th at the Orem Public Library at 2:00 p.m. (for more info, click the Events page). This will definitely be my last signing of 2011 and I’m not sure when I’ll have one in 2012, so I’d love to see you! And I will just be one of many authors there (Brandon Mull, Bree Despain, Robison Wells, more TBA)…so it’s going to be a lot of fun.

Third, I found out that CROSSED was chosen as a pick for the Winter 2011-2012 Kids’ Indie Next List. This list is complied by independent booksellers across the country and it is SUCH an honor to be selected. Many, many thanks!

Fourth, we’ve had some great industry reviews (from Publisher’s Weekly, VOYA, School Library Journal) coming in for CROSSED. I’ve (finally) added CROSSED to the Reviews page and so I’ve added some of the details there.

And, last of all, I have some reallyreally awesome news. MATCHED is now a #1 New York Times Bestseller! We hit #1 on the paperback list for children’s chapter books, and CROSSED is holding strong at #5 over on the hardcover list. This is the kind of thing that does not happen without you the readers (obviously!). I am deeply grateful to you for caring about this story. To all of you who have taken the time to post positive reviews, to share the book with a friend, to e-mail me, etc.–THANK YOU.

Next week I’ll be back with my annual post about all the books I’m giving for Christmas. I can’t wait!

This is a pretty long playlist because I was writing this book for a year and a half, so I had a lot of time to find good songs. While I don’t listen to music while I’m writing, I do listen to it when I’m editing and often I’ll listen to songs before I start writing to get me in the right mood (and to transition me from mom-of-three-with-messy-house to writer). Most of the time, I find these songs after I’ve written the part in the book to which they connect; in the case of Bruce and Neil they were, of course, known to me before I started writing.

I often thought of this as Ky’s book as I wrote it (though the story certainly belongs to Cassia and Xander too), and I think that is really reflected in the playlist for the book–lots of songs about searching, loving, and becoming.

Anyway. I wanted to wait a little bit so that you had a chance to read the book BEFORE you listened to the songs, as they’ll mean more then…and CROSSED has been out for three weeks…and I can’t wait any longer! And please, if you enjoy these artists’ work, BUY their songs to support the arts and music.

1. Empty by Ray LaMontagne
The melancholy and beauty in this song made this the #1 most-listened to song while I was writing CROSSED.

2. A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers
There’s a such a story in this song, and the chorus is unbelievable.

3. Edwin’s Tale–1862 by Peter Breinholt & Big Parade
The perfect song for Ky as he’s out in the decoy villages, and for anyone left behind.

4. Violet Hill by Coldplay
The mention of snow is especially perfect for the book. It’s what I picture playing in the background during Chapter 3.

5. Blue Lips by Regina Spektor
One of the songs I discovered at the very end of editing CROSSED. I especially like the part where she sings about “all the pictures in his mind” because that’s how Ky thinks. And the blue references throughout the song have a lot of resonance for the color blue, which is emphasized in this novel.

6. Doubting Thomas by Nickel Creek
I’ve always thought of this song particularly as Ky’s song, because it’s hard for him to believe sometimes that someone like Cassia could really love him.

7. The Ghost of Tom Joad by Bruce Springsteen (the version w/o Tom Morello)
This song has haunted me since it was first released back when I was in high school, and it kept coming back to me as I wrote Ky’s journey during CROSSED.

8. Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson
This song felt like what Cassia would be thinking/singing to herself as she searched for Ky.

9. Yazala Ambambuti by Samite
Simply beautiful.

10. If I Should Fall Behind by Bruce Springsteen
This one makes me cry just about every time. You can picture the farmers in CROSSED gathering around a campfire to sing it. (And how great is it that it’s Bruce and his wife singing to each other?)

11. Sinner’s Sonnet by Andrew Whitman
A great song about searching and love.

12. The Climber by Neil Finn
His voice and the words are lovely, but it’s the background that really gets me every time.

13. Captain of a Shipwreck by Neil Diamond
My all-time favorite Neil Diamond song. This song is not just something Ky would sing to Cassia, but I also think of it as a song that Xander would love.

14. Crossfire by Brandon Flowers
For me, this song really fits Chapter 35 and how Ky is feeling then.

15. Set the Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright
Ky and Cassia, maps, poems, trying to find a way to each other in spite of everything. In spite of themselves.

16.In for the Kill by La Roux
How Cassia feels near the end of her book when she makes her decisions about the Rising and about Ky.

17. The Rising by Bruce Springsteen
If you’ve read the book, you’ll know exactly why I picked this song.

18. This Hard Land by Bruce Springsteen
See above.

19. Roll Away Your Stone by Mumford & Sons
A last-minute addition to the playlist, but it’s the perfect Sisyphus stone song. And everything about it fits Ky in this book.

20. Every Time It Rains by Charlotte Martin
There’s a particular scene near the end of CROSSED that this fits, but it also calls back to things that happened in MATCHED and to what will happen in Book 3. It’s the ideal song to end the playlist.

And I often listen to a soundtrack or two as well. This time, it was the soundtrack to HERO by Tan Dun.

I hope you enjoy the playlist, and have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!!!

Author Beth Revis (who I’ve been able to hang out with both on the Breathless Reads and the Smart Chicks tour, and who is a lovely person and wonderful writer) interviewed me today for the last stop on the CROSSED blog tour. And she asked some great questions and I ended up telling her all kinds of things, like how I managed to get my husband to like me when all the other girls in the dorm thought he was cute too. Beth and her wily ways! I really appreciate her taking the time to do this interview when I know she is VERY busy with her own work!

This blog tour has been so much fun for me, and I hope you’ve enjoyed it too. Now I’ll quiet down a bit after all these weeks of constant posting. But, next Tuesday, the 22nd, I’ll be posting my official CROSSED playlist, so I hope you’ll check back for that too!

Today’s post is also brought to you by a blogger from the United Kingdom: Dead Book Darling. Thank you so much for participating in the tour, Kay!

Tomorrow is the very last day of the blog tour (and it is a fun one, so be sure to check back)! I can’t believe it. Many, many thanks to all who have participated and been so generous, and to Penguin Teen for providing the books and items for the giveaways, and to the wonderful Anna Jarzab who organized it all!